Dualities and the realization of their existence is truly gratifying.

Take sex, for example.

As any semi-educated person will know, it is strictly an act of procreation. It is the animal equivalent of bacterial conjugation: the transfer of DNA between one organism into another. Sex is simply how our genes use us to stay in circulation; our desire for it is the manifestation of the genetic drive to maintain existence. Therefore, being creatures comprised of genes, sex lies at the very core of our psyche, along with self-preservation. This is why it is a taboo subject in many socities, why some religions celebrate it while others suppress it and why inevitably, no matter how isolated they are, people will think about it: because it lies at the very heart of our existence and is continuously subjected to the incredibly complex human cognitive process. Grand romantic ideas have been constructed around sex, about it being an expression of love, of it being God's "treat" for those who choose to be united under his name, or, somewhat puritanically, as the tool of the devil. Ultimately, however, it is simply about the preservation of our genetic information, at least from a strictly materialist point of view.

That was the objective review of sex.

Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on your view), we are the creatures experiencing this genetic call. Because of it, we feel such a diverse range of emotions and sensations regarding sex. We desire and enjoy it because our genes want us to do it, but that doesn't detract from the overall experience. We love sexual feelings and sensations and the knowledge that it is a manifestation of a genetic survival instict should not make us think that it is any less significant. Love, lust, pleasure, orgasm et al. should not be any less enjoyable and true just because a valid materialist point of view is available.

This is the duality. On one hand, sex is just how our genes stay in circulation, but on the other, we are the carriers of these genes and we experience a diverse range of "true" stimuli because of them, such as love. To a completely objective observer, love is simply the human manifestation of genetic desires, but this does not mean that love is "fake" , as many like to respond when someone says that we are genetic vessels. You see, because we experience it, it is real. The range of emotions that we defined using the word "love" truly does exist, even though it is rooted in biology.

This is something that I find truly gratifying, seeing the non-emotional materalist truth of something that I experience while still enjoying the emotional truth of the experience itself. Both are genuine, though they may seem to be at opposites. Basically, what I'm saying is that I might know for a fact that our genes control us, but that doesn't change the fact that I truly enjoy spending time with someone I love.

Ever pondered on your own mortality? I recently have, and on a much grander scale at that.

It started today when I saw my grandfather struggling to climb up a parking lot ramp in the mountains (due to the low levels of oxygen that high up) made me realize what a fleeting thing youth, and more importantly, life, is. Not too long from now, I'll be old and struggling to complete some menial task while having my grandchildren feel sorry for me.

4500 meters up a frozen mountain, a fact that I've always argued with fundamentalists become glaringly apparent to me. The Earth is largely not habitable for humans. I've been to Antarctica, tops of glacier mountains, scorching hot deserts and hostile oceans and it should be obvious to anyone who has seen atleast a little of the world, such as myself, that the Earth blows for us Homo Sapiens.

In my hotel room, I picked up a copy of National Geographic on the way and saw articles with illustrations of prehistoric ocean predators. Holy shit they were beasts in every sense of the word. You look at these creatures and can't help but be in awe. Ocean-dwelling reptiles the size of large yachts with teeth as big as bananas were abound just a few hundred million years ago (yes, a few, considering the age of our planet). The same strength and ferocity can also be seen on land during that epoch of our planet's history. Consider this, if a giant hunk of rock didn't strike the earth some 700 million years ago, we wouldn't exist. Mammals during that time were nothing more than little rodent-like creatures that hid in the bushes in fear of their reptilian overlords. It was 'luck' that we possessed a mutation that would help us ability survive the cold and inherit the planet.

How does this all relate to mortality? Well. Firstly, our lives are short even on our own tiny scale, let alone the planet's, as my grandfather's struggle up a ramp will attest to. Second, our life as a species has also been relatively short, in a sense that we have only been on this Earth for a very short time. Who knows what natural cataclysm in the future will bring about an end to our species and bring about a new dominant organism? Third, our lives are constantly in a tenuous balance with our environment. As the hostile environments I mentioned before prove, the Earth was clearly not made for our survival. We carved out our existence by struggling against Mother Nature, not by her assistance. And even when we have created our little havens on this planet, nature has her way of invading them. Influenza, earthquakes, AIDS, tsunamis, blizzards, you name it.

At this point I think I'm just rambling. But atleast I'm having fun while I'm at it. Life, in all aspects and scales, is short, so who really cares if what you do has some greater meaning or not? Let me ramble.

I had an epiphanous business moment yesterday. Came up with a product idea for my marketing class final project and now I'm actually seriously contemplating on making someone design a model of it and applying for a patent. Then I want to try to sell the idea to some company. Yes, it seriously is that good. I got so excited that I stayed up till 4 A.M. last night with my friend, making sketches of it.

So yeah, that was the highlight of the week.

Oh. Zain also randomly approached some guy in front of a dorm and asked for weed and it turned out that he was a dealer. He ended up taking us into his dorm to show his stash.. What are the odds. Looks like mary jane is much more prevalent than most think. Not complaining.

Haven't posted in ages, again. I'm quite sporadic when it comes to blogging.

So, I'm finally here in LA, starting a new life. I've waited for this moment since I was a kid, to leave the drudgery that was Indonesia and be part of the great civilization that is the United States of America. My opinion of the USA hasn't changed much, but leaving has been unbelievably painful.

Things I'll miss:

1. Maids. I'll miss waking up in the morning, throwing off my clothes, taking a shower and coming home with a made bed and clothes already in the wash.

2. Nasi goreng and sate. Gah. No more unhealthy, carcinogen-packed street food. What's life without it?

3. Going to some of the nicest clubs and being able to drink whatever I want. I'm only going to the shittiest clubs here due to my age and I'll be lucky if they serve me some leftover moonshine, much less a Black Label coke.

4. Drivers. Having been driving for the last few weeks, I now know that there are times where you wish you didn't have to wade through traffic. Drivers are the answer to this quandary.

5. Having parents to mooch off of just a phone call away.

6. Last, and possibly most painful, Rika Ninomiya. My Japanese/Red Bull model girlfriend.

I'm sure there are many more things that I'll miss, but I'm too jet lag to think of them.

A month and six days till the end of Indo life.

I remember wanting to blog so many things during the past few weeks but never got to it. Now I have to suffer the feeling that there are numerous events during the summer that will fade into obscurity.. Shit. I don't even remember what I've been doing the past 2-3 weeks, but I know that were a few important things that were worth remembering.

Been playing video games a lot lately, I'm completely addicted to DotA.

Just got back from Manna. Don't think I've ever seen Rika that drunk, she could barely stand.

Sleepy. Will post again tomorrow after going to Zhiyun's to say bye.

First item on my will: I want to be buried in a pyramid.